She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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