How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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