I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
