i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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