Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
