Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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