He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
