My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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