how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
