I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
