yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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