So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
