Where did you get a picture of my penis
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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