I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
