I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
