I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
