I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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