We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish you could order shots online.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
