Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I didn't notice because vodka
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
