I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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