He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
