i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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