so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
