I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
