I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
