ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
