Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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