i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
