I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
