Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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