So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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