i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
