We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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