if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm drive I can fine osifer
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
