69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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