Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
