why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize