she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
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I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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