in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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