Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
