i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize