I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
