onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
