I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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