When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
