i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
why do cheetos always look like penises
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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