i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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