How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
what day is it and did you see me today?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize