Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
