My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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