Barsexuality is the new black.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
