Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
