my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
