I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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