Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
