literally had 100 drinks last night.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
