ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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