Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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