Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
