this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
