Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Enjoy the penises
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
