Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
love makes seman taste better
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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