i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
