we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
