Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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