Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
