Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
