...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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