Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
